Bringing Family Moments to Life: A Holiday Story Part I

Jim and Terry

Jim and Terry have a beautiful marriage. They met at a work convention in New York, and a couple years later married and moved to California. They bought a house in a good school district because they wanted to start a family very soon. Jim and Terry became very active in their community, volunteering at kid camps and a spiritual congregation, all the while advancing in their careers.

Facing Infertility

The years rolled by and they hadn’t become pregnant. They understood that it could take time, so they took it lightly. Little by little, they began to realize that it wasn’t happening. Friends and family suggested several alternatives. Jim and Terry took the time to research adoption, they looked into children in foster care, but the more they looked into it, the more they realized they wanted a child of their own.

They went forward with invitro fertilization; noting that there were a lot of clinics, they chose one close to their home. After a couple of unsuccessful attempts, the doctor recommended they look into surrogacy. He gave them a list of surrogacy agencies to look into. Although they heard about surrogacy through their involvement in infertility forums, they decided to look into it more closely.

Researching Surrogacy

Their online research included helpful blogs and websites that provided answers they needed. Jim and Terry had a lot going for them because they already had their embryos from the invitro sessions, and were living in a state where gestational surrogacy is permitted. Terry decided to join webinars for intended parents to find out more.

Learning about Surrogacy

Terry signed up for surrogate online meet-up. She wanted to get to know surrogates to understand surrogacy better. She was surprised to find both men and women attending the meet-up. At that moment she felt kind of sheepish for not having asked Jim to join her. She texted him and he said he would be home soon.

The webinar atmosphere was filled with warmth, honesty, and joy. Terry soon met the Surrogate Advisor, Maggie. She was a surrogacy agency staff member who had been a surrogate multiple times. They spoke about Terry’s concerns as well as those of other participants. She noticed that the surrogates were familiar with each other, and experienced a special type of bond. Although Terry had a different purpose than the rest of the participants, she felt welcomed and well received.

Jim Joins the Conversation

Jim arrived soon after the webinar began. His main concerns were if they had a say in choosing their surrogate and how they were certain that she would give them their baby. Maggie was very clear on how both the intended parents and the surrogate have a say in who they match with. She explained the legal protection intended parents receive regarding their parental rights. She also addressed how surrogates prepare for that wonderful moment in which they hand the baby to its parents.

Deciding on Surrogacy

That night, Jim and Terry discussed the webinar. She felt comfortable with this agency because it supports and cares for their surrogates. They had also received open and honest answers to their questions, as well as direction to blogs, e-books, and other resources.

Jim and Terry felt good about the experience and wanted to consider that agency for their surrogacy experience. They realized that a lot of the information they had found useful came from this agency. It was also a leader in the field, which gave them more security and assurance that this was the organization they wanted to work with.

An Intended Parents’ Story

Terry learned from surrogates that the intended parents’ story is very important to establish the connection between them and their future surrogate. This connection had to be a heartfelt one such as one would feel with family. So Jim and Terry sat down together and filled out their questionnaire. Attached to it, they sent a note to their special surrogate, thus beginning their surrogacy journey.