Surrogacy Involves Limiting Sexual Activity

Partners should be aware that there are limitations on sexual activity when on the surrogacy journey

The main purpose of abstaining from sexual intercourse is so that a couple will not become pregnant with their own child.  This is why doctors recommended it and why a surrogate must make it clear to her partner that surrogacy involves limiting sexual activity.  Each surrogacy journey is different, and medical professionals have different views about how long sexual activity should be limited. Therefore, a couple should ask their doctor what the best course of action is.

Another more personal reason is kindness for the intended parents.  IPs may have struggled with infertility, so knowing that their surrogate’s uterus is being kept just for their baby is a sign of compassion.

In-vitro Fertilization

Surrogates become pregnant via medical intervention, not through sexual intercourse. The medical process is called In-vitro Fertilization.  Intended parents already have their embryos at an in vitro fertilization (IVF) clinic and the embryo transfer is performed.

In-vitro Fertilization doesn’t mean that you become pregnant immediately. Once the embryo transfer is complete, there is a waiting period during which the surrogate must take it easy.  She rests until the doctor says she can resume her normal activities.  The OB/GYN authorizes a surrogate to resume her normal sexual activity if he/she sees fit.   Again, the most important reason for limiting sexual activity is conserving the uterus for the intended parents’ baby.  Doctors  wish to avoid the surrogate becoming pregnant with her own child.  Some clinics may require up to 10 weeks after the embryo transfer before a surrogate is allowed to engage in sexual intercourse.

Sexual Conduct Limitations

Fertility clinics impose limitations upon sexual activity while a woman is on her surrogacy journey.  This is a general list of possible sexually limiting recommendations. Each fertility clinic is different and not every item on this list applies to every individual case.

  • Before the Embryo Transfer Date

    Fertility clinics do set time limitations using the embryo transfer date as a reference point. This means that there will be a period of time prior to the embryo transfer when sex is off-limits to prevent a surrogate from becoming pregnant with her partner.

  • Monogamy

    A fertility clinic may ask a surrogate to be monogamous in her sexual activity. A surrogate’s partner undergoes medical testing to ensure that he or she does not have a sexual disease that could affect the baby. Limiting sexual partners will reduce the risk of affecting the baby’s development.

  • After the Embryo Transfer

    The surrogate should refrain from intense physical activity or excitement; therefore, there will be no sexual intercourse immediately after the transfer. This is due to the pelvic movement that occurs during sexual intercourse that could reduce the probability of the embryo attaching to the uterine lining. The fertility clinics will let the surrogate and her partner know when it’s safe to resume sexual activity.


Benefits of Medically Approved Sexual Activity

There are benefits to the surrogate being sexually active during the pregnancy.

  • Exercise 

    Sexual activity burns calories, so for a surrogate this is an excellent way to get active and fit. This will also be beneficial for labor; the stronger a surrogate becomes, the simpler labor can be.

  • Lower Risk of Preeclampsia 

    If surrogates are sexually active, the sexual activity reduces blood pressure and therefore decreases the risk of a spike during the pregnancy.

  • More Sleep

    The more sexually active a couple is, the more sleep the surrogate will get. This is beneficial for her and the baby.

The human body naturally protects the developing baby.

The baby is physically protected from intercourse. Therefore, it should not raise any concern from IPs.  First of all, the uterus is a strong muscle within the female body that contains the baby. The uterus has two muscle linings that protect anything from interfering with the child’s growth. Right after the second layer of the uterine muscle comes the placenta. The placenta is natural tissue that is softer outlining and protecting the amniotic sac. The amniotic sac holds the baby in the amniotic liquid, creating another layer of protection.

So, the liquid from the sac, the tissue from the placenta, and the two muscle lines from the uterus protect the baby. The uterus closes itself off to the vagina by thick mucus to prevent any sort of liquid or matter from entering the uterus and affecting the baby.

Sexual intercourse is good for a surrogate while pregnant with the baby.

Bleeding Caused by Intercourse

If the surrogate happens to bleed or feel pain during surrogacy she should tell her surrogate support team member or her doctor. All surrogates have gone through pregnancy before, so they know what to expect in terms of sexual intercourse. A surrogate’s purpose is to deliver a healthy baby to the parents, which is the most important outcome of this journey.